Holidays With Carmelita
by Comet Stryke
Summary: A collection of stories in a collaborative bunch, highlighting the times between our favorite couple! Starting with Christmas of 2013 and New Year 2014, there's a year of holiday experience ready to behold. SlyxCarm


_**And with the Holidays mostly wrapped up, I have decided to post this! **_

_**In story, the bold text is voice over. **_

* * *

**New Year's Day**

**"So, what were you even doing during Christmas? Why'd you..drop in?"**

**"Oh, right. I never told you. Well, me and the gang were actually tucking in for Christmas eve when I noticed these two guys in the alleyway... They'd had a big package with them, so of course that led me to believe…"**

**"That they were thieves, huh?"**

**"Yep. And get this…I discovered they were pilfering from donation boxes. That's when I stepped in, after I tailed them for a minute..."**

* * *

_"Hue hue hue, we gonna get good jives from this, dude."_

_"Hey, can your trap. We gotta get this stuff all wrapped up 'fore we can sell it. And I don't need you busting us up!"_

_"I ain't busting no body. 'Cept these suckers that leave their goods out in the open."_

_Two figures were hunched in front of one of Paris's many donation boxes, in the process of breaking the case open and swiping everything from within. To them, this was their Christmas-stealing from easy targets and making a fortune from it. It was tradition. They'd done years on end, never at once feeling sorry for those on the unfortunate side. _

_One suspect, a pale green cockatoo in his twenties wearing a wife beater, was busy welding the entrance to the metal case open. His partner in crime, a wily tom cat of around the same age, was the one balancing the sack. _

_This year had been so good—they'd already hit fifteen different places, destroying the containers, sorting around the contents messily and leaving with what they wanted, leaving perfectly good articles strewn in the street all over. The cops were a problem as always, especially that one vixen. But they evaded them with better precision this year. Last year they'd gotten cornered and didn't hit all the sweet spots in time. _

_But now, they'd hit the jackpot._

_"Aw, yeaah. We're in it to win it, baby." The green bird muttered, almost done in his job of opening the box._

_"Hurry up will you? I keep seeing things out the corner of my eye. Real freaky, man." The cat said, shifting._

_"What, you 'fraid of a little ghost? Watch out—it might be that one sleazy broad that always tails us on Christmas."_

* * *

**"Sleazy broad?!"**

**"Wait, it gets worse."**

* * *

_"Who we talkn' bout? What broad? I know too many."_

_"The orange one!"_

_"…'kay?"_

_"Y'know, the one who works for Interpol? The MILF?"_

_"Oh, yeah, her! Psshh, I could take that kooky floozy any day. Which reminds me," The cat suddenly got a devious look in his eye, "You wanna give her a Christmas present? Y'know, hand deliver it to her?"_

_"I'm all for it, bro. She's got a nice ass too. I've seen it. Damn," The fire source slipped, "You're gonna make me burn my fingers off."_

_"Work now, babes and money later." _

_Suddenly a chill came over the feline for no reason, and he shivered, feeling like someone was watching him. He turned slowly, expecting to see someone there. But there wasn't. He breathed a sigh of relief before turning back round and being greeted with a very close proximity, "Hello."_

_"HOLY TOM CATS!" The feline jumped at the sight of—_

_"Santy-Clause?!"_

_"What smack are you yellin' bout over there?" The green bird turned from his work, startled to see another person standing in the space between him and his partner. But that wasn't they only thing. Whoever it was, they were fully dressed as Santa Clause. Legitimately._

_The bird cracked up, and on the opposite side of the stranger his partner was doing the same thing. _

_"You're the skinniest Santy-Clause I ever seen!" The cat yelled, "What, you couldn't get hooked up as an elf?"_

_"I'm much too tall to be an elf." Said the Santa Clause, not bothered in the slightest. Behind him, the cocatoo took note of the bushy tail swinging in his vision. Getting up he saw rings running down it._

_"Hey, hey dude—this guy's a ringtail!"_

_The cat, however, stopped laughing. He frowned, vaguely remembering rumors of thief or criminal running around Paris with an appearance as that. _

_ "May I ask what you're doing with that bag there?" Ringtail asked politely, nodding his head towards said object._

_The cat picked it up defensively, "We ain't telling you."_

_"Yeah, what makes you think you can just bust in on us like that?" The bird asked._

_The ringtail's only response was to grin. The cat was unnerved._

_"We ain't here for laughs, Mr. Smiley. Now you skedaddle on out before we make you!" _

_"Oh, I can't possibly do that. Not while you're stealing from people who need it the most."_

_"So who do you think you are? One of them cop-types that try to push us 'round cause we ain't abiding by the law? Like that bitch fox who runs around Paris all the time?"_

_And just like that, he was knocked out on the ground, several teeth out of his mouth. _

* * *

**"Whoa. Lose your temper much?"**

**"Right as rain, I did."**

* * *

_The bird stared in shock at the ringtail, who'd just brandished a golden stick and power slammed his partner to the ground faster than he could follow. Now he turned, unsmiling, "Have you got anything else to say?"_

_The bird's cowardice took over, now that he was down by one man. He folded under the ringtail's iron hard stare, shaking his head. _

_"Then __beat__ it."_

_The bird dropped his welder with shaking hands, making a large circle around the ringtail before finally grabbing his friend and hightailing it out of there. Paris was too crazy. Maybe they'd find a different city—_

_"Freeze! You're under arrest."_

_-perhaps a jail would be better suited_.

* * *

**"On cue, that was when you stepped in. As you always do.**"

* * *

_"Guys, a little help here."_

_I bent down, picking up the bag of stolen items. Good thing I'd caught those guys or else they could've hit more place. I needed to get this stuff somewhere where it could be under watch. I was trying to contact Bent and Murray so they could help me._

_Suddenly down the street I heard a familiar voice yell words she usually reserved for me. Carmelita._

_Wait, Carmelita?!_

_I looked around quickly, trying to find a hiding spot. If she saw me here at the scene of the crime she might think that I—_

_"So it was you who's been filching things around town, raccoon."_

_-had been filching things around town._

_I dropped my hands and the sack, "No, no, look—those guys down there have been doing it, not me! I just happened to stop them before they could hit any other spot." _

_I guess it didn't work because I next saw a red pistol being aimed at me. I chuckled. Well, I didn't expect anything less actually. Good to know she didn't take anything lightly even on holidays._

_"You're right here with the evidence. How do I know you aren't working with them?"_

_"Y'know, you should listen to me often. How many times have I told you my family code?"_

_"Times too many—"_

_"Yet you can't remember that I only steal from other thieves. What," I raised an eyebrow at her, "You think I'm gonna take from people that need it the most? Does that remotely sound like me?"_

_Carmelita hesitated, and I continued, "By the way, they were talking about you. Said you'd been following them around Christmas these past few years and couldn't catch them."_

_"Now I have them so they can't cause any more trouble. So don't worry, I've got things handled."_

_"I contributed to their capture, y'know. I deserve some credit."_

_"How so?" She looked at me up and down, "Santa Clause?" _

_"Santa Cooper," I corrected with a smile, and she loudly groaned. "I caught them in the act. They probably would've gotten away if I hadn't stepped in."_

_"As I've said time before, that still doesn't cover up the fact that you're a thief," Carmelita reached into her shirt, pulling out handcuffs, "So you're still arrested. On the night before Christmas."_

_I only grinned at her, folding my arms. Man, I just loved her fiery personality._

_She looked a bit taken back at my most commonly used response to her, but she didn't waver as I let her walk over slowly, her gun pointed at me. She stopped three feet away when I still hadn't moved._

_"What are you up to, raccoon?!" She shrieked suddenly._

_"Nothing!" I smiled, looking innocent. I even raised my hands up in the air._

_"Why the lack of flirty talk or sass? Did you bump your head again?"_

_I rubbed the back of my head, using the motion to pass off looking behind myself, "No, no. I'm just…waiting for the right moment." _

_"For what?"_

_I stepped aside, showing her the empty space where the bag had been. Her eyes popped out and I held back the urge to laugh. Suddenly she glared at me, and I heard her take the safety off her shock pistol. Oh boy._

_"Where is it, raccoon?"_

_"My elves must've taken it." I said with a straight face. _

* * *

**"Damn you and your jokes, Cooper."**

**"But you're still smiling, eh?"**

* * *

_Carmelita stepped forward, stabbing the gun right into my chest as she got into my face, "Don't you ever get tired of purposely pissing me off?"_

_"Nope." I said automatically, and planted one right on her lips. While she was stunned I turned and took off down the alleyway, where Bentley was waiting for me with the bag. _

_"Nice distraction!" He grinned, following me as I passed him._

_"Always works with her. Now, let's head back to the crib and set up for a mission so I can get this stuff back where it belongs."_

_After Bentley tagged me with my objective, I went all across Paris, shoveling off clothes and other items in different institutional facilities. It was hilarious sometimes when people would see a glimpse of me and freak out about Santa Clause laying off the cookies this holiday season. Man, that's what I'd forgotten! I knew who made the best cookies too, so I was glad I had one last stop. _

_On the last stop, I landed on the rooftop, slipping a bit on the snow and ice. The weather was really beginning to pick up now. "Whoa there—" After steadying myself I started towards the chimney and carefully slid down. With thieving tactics I won't take time to explain, I inverted myself in the chimney with a ton of difficulty and stuck my head out of the opening at the bottom. A busy orphanage, it seemed._

_ I spotted several kids running around shrieking, causing mayhem for each other. The caretaker, a female wolf, was beside herself and trying to rally them up. I noted that she looked worried, and kept glancing over to the corner. I followed her gaze and saw a Christmas tree, but it didn't have anything under. Then I understood—_

_-those jerks must've also taken presents meant for the kids. Well, I was there now and I'm giving them their keep._

_"Now settle down for a moment, Christmas isn't here yet!" The caretaker fussed._

_A chaotic, barley understood outcry from the kids baffled me for a second; after straining my ears I gathered that they were too excited to sit down. Or speak clearly, for that matter._

_Rambunctious little buggers, I thought, remembering the days when me, Murray, and Bentley were in the same position._

_The position of being in an orphanage and being excited about Christmas, not being upside down in a chimney and watching little kids like a creeper, I mean. _

_I needed them to leave so I could stealth in and drop items off. That was taken care of in the next few seconds when the caretaker managed to herd her fodder into a collective group and pushed them down the hallway, probably to tuck in for the night._

_"Ooh, sweet." I muttered, shimmying down and sneaking across the floor on three limbs, squatting in front of the tree. While I rationed out the goods my ear twitched and I froze before turning slowly to face a little girl, maybe about three or four years old. A rabbit, it seemed. I shifted to her, grinning._

_"Hey there! What are you doing up by yourself?"_

_She didn't say anything, still staring at me in shock. I hoped she didn't see me come out the chimney. I'd be scared if I saw a skinny Santa Clause creep down the chimney of my house. _

_"Are you Santy Clause?" She finally asked._

_"N- Yes," I caught myself, trying to play the cards right, "I am. That's why I'm putting things under the tree, see?"_

_She came a bit closer, and I moved aside so she could see what I was doing. "But you can't peek yet. You have to wait until Christmas."_

_"I know!" She said defensively. "I know, Santy-Clause. My mommy told me that."_

_I suddenly felt an ice cube slip into my stomach, and I sat back on my haunches to face her,"…your mom?" I paused as she nodded, "…what happened to her, dear?"_

_"Oh, she was sick…and she couldn't make it, " She replied, as though she were used to being asked- which she probably was, "And I miss her a lot."_

_"Well, you'll have a good family one day. Maybe that can be your Christmas present." I tried to comfort her._

_"It was. I'm being adopted tomorrow."_

_Well, shoot my dog and call me Sally._

* * *

**"I was glad for her, I was. Another kid with a hopefully faithful family."**

**"I'm stuck on the 'Shoot my Dog and Call Me Sally' part. What's with you and these expressions?"**

* * *

_"It was so sweet, Bentley. You should'a seen her. I said her Christmas present should be her getting adopted, and it turned out to be true."_

_"How fortunate. Does that remind you of anyone else?"_

_I smiled. "Yeah, it does." One thing that me and the little rabbit had in common, except mines never got granted. But hey, I've got family now and I ain't complaining. _

_I suddenly found myself on a familiar roof. Puzzled I looked around, "Well, waddya know? I went on auto pilot."_

_"That's Sly-speak for….?" Bentley questioned. _

_"I ended up at Carmelita's apartment complex." I said, squatting and pulling out my Binocucom. I'd finished the deliveries without a hitch, and I had one more I had to do. Making sure that she wasn't spying on me from afar, I started across the apartment roofs to her apartment._

_"It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas," I began, excited to see Carmelita. I landed on all fours on a roof and prepared to jump to Carmelita's down below, "Everywhere I-WHOA!" _

_Slipping was not a part of the equation._

* * *

**"I guess that was when you decided to drop in, huh?"**

**"Yeah, right on time."**

**"Then let me tell ****_my_**** side."**

* * *

_I sighed, looking into the mirror and straightening my hat. I was spending Christmas alone this year. My parents couldn't leave because the planes were delayed due to frost. Barkley and most other Interpol agents had taken work off. I think I was still the only one on duty. And good thing I was, or else I wouldn't have caught those scum tonight._

_But I still let Cooper escape. After he got me with that kiss-and goodbye trick he always pulled. It always worked, damn him._

_So now I was home, dressing up for the occasion. Before I can even convince myself I did this to match Cooper, I was totally going to do it before I saw him tonight. Why the hell he was lurking around Paris in a Santa Clause outfit is out of my range of mind._

_I almost wished him to be there. What?! No! Well…only to be my match. It would look strange if I cosplayed by myself. _

_And I almost didn't want to spend Christmas alone. _

_I shook my head. What the hell? He was a…criminal…I guess. Yeah, he was. Even though he was my potential lover—_

_Which I keep reminding myself wouldn't work but we could make it work. Only for today. And maybe more days._

_I stopped walking, freezing in place and looking around. Wait, when did I start walking? Oh right, when I started thinking about...him, I guess. _

_Now I was in the living room, standing in front of my mantle. On the center there was a picture of me and him, the one where he'd caught me by surprise, standing next to me in the frame and planting one on my cheek, as I held a rose._

_I rubbed my face subconsciously, tearing my eyes away from it. From him. Maybe I could just go out and walk to see the sights. Suddenly I heard something—_

_"—WHOA!" _

_There was this massive cracking sound, then I looked up as moonlight shined down on me, "What—OOOF!"_

_I suddenly found myself painfully on the ground with something lying on top of me. Immediately I got angry. I thought the damn landlord said she'd fixed the hole in my roof. I guess not, huh?_

_My eyes widened as I picked up the timbre of the heavy breathing; I really shouldn't be surprised when I just wished him to be there with me. _

_I sighed, wondering how much it would cost to fix the roof._

_"Talk about a faulty roof…" He muttered, apparently not noticing he used me as a landing pad. "Boy, is she gonna be—" He paused, and we turned our heads to each other, "—pissed…?"_

_"I'm more upset at the landlord than you. Though I have to wonder what you were doing up on the roof." I said icily._

_"Oh, yeah I was, uh…making a detour." He said hastily._

_"Do you mind?" I asked grimly, in reference to the fact he was still lying across me._

_ Which, now that I think, I didn't mind much. The landing could have been a bit better but hell, I'd stay like this all night if it weren't for the fact I wanted to go out._

_….what is going on with my mind?_

_I laughed to myself; I think I was finally going crazy. Oh, love was a strange thing that kept nailing into you no matter what._

_I looked up and saw him squatting next to me. "Uh, are you gonna get up any time soon?"_

_ Oh. I was still on the ground. _

_He raised an eyebrow. "You alright? I didn't make you hit your head, did I?"_

_"No!" I said, getting up, "But you should really be aiming your first question," I pointed up, "-at my roof!"_

_"Sorry 'bout that, but…you should really get the paneling checked out. We wouldn't want someone beautiful to fall in through her own floor now would we?" _

_I couldn't take it, and I walked past him and collapsed on the couch, laughing hysterically. He wasn't making this easy for me. Damn it, when has he ever made it easy?_

* * *

**"I've never made it easy? Howsa bout the times you nearly shocked me to death?"**

**"Oh, do-hon't get me started, ringtail." **

* * *

_To make matters worse, he sat down next to me, staring at me in slight shock._

_"What?" I half snarled, half laughed, still torn between arresting him or making out with him. Maybe both by the time the night was over._

_"…..n…never mind." _

_He like, really needed to go away before my hormones started acting up. It didn't take much for them to do that when he was around. I sat up, pointing towards the door, "Scram now, would you?"_

_"Can't I stay a bit longer?" He smiled, almost seductively. _

_Something exploded inside me. "NO."_

_He was silent for a minute, then, "Are you having one of your moments again?" _

_I jumped up. Okay, that was it—he knew me too well and he had to leave now—I grabbed the doorknob then looked back at him, still sitting on the couch with one arm, as I now noticed, over the back close to where my head had been. _

_"Alright, out—!" Then I opened the door, making the mistake of not watching the weather report that night. _

_And promptly getting thrown back as the blizzard outside slammed full force through the door. I was caught by a pair of strong arms before I hit the ground though; I groaned out loud. You gotta be kidding me. _

_I found myself on the couch, dimly registering him closing the door. I wanted to sob and laugh at the same time. This was my dream come true. Staying at home by myself with Cooper and no one around for hours wait never mind, what was I thinking? I could arrest him right here and turn him in after Christmas. It was perfect trap. _

_Now I just need to lure him in, I thought as he walked up after closing the door, standing underneath the hole in the roof and looking up._

_"That's good, looks like the snow covered up the hole by itself…"_

_As I reached into my shirt he looked at me, then over to my tree in the corner. It had presents that I had yet to open underneath it. I frowned in suspicion. _

_"What are you eyeing my tree for, ringtail?"_

_"I can't look? You have a lot of presents." He went over and kneeled down and I kept a close eye on him._

_"A lot of them come from people at work," I simpered, "Because they know that I work hard and respect me for it."_

_"You need to relax a bit, Carmelita." He said, turning his grinning profile to me, "You don't have enough days off from work."_

_"Gee, I wonder why…" I muttered._

_"Yeah, me too." He said, much to my annoyance that he was screwing around with me again, "I should do something to make you relax somehow. I don't know what, but something."_

_"I don't need your help, raccoon." I snapped, "Since you cause most of the mayhem for me."_

_"Do I? I never noticed."_

_I growled to myself. Oh, was I waiting to get him. Finally he got up and came over, "So, what are you doing for Christmas?"_

_One snap and a click later, his wrist is in one of my cuffs; I got up, grinning, "Arresting you, Sly Cooper."_

_He looked down at his wrist, twisting it this way and that. "Oh, wouldja look at that? You got me." His patronizing was really rubbing me under the skin._

_"I sure did. Now you're going to stay here, right in my sight until I can get you to a jail cell." I said._

_He quirked his mouth up a little to the side, and I saw his eyes cut to the other cuff dangling. A smile appeared on his face, and before I knew it, he'd grabbed my hand and forced it into the other ring._

_ I watched in horror as he tightened and closed it, all the while smiling like the biggest asshole on earth. Startled, I pulled my arm up but didn't get far because he was cemented to the floor. Growling, I pulled on him but it didn't work._

_"I must be the biggest asshole on earth now, right?"_

_He ducked away as I swung at him, "RIGHT! YOU—FREAKING—AUGHHHHHHHHH!" _

_I yanked my hand away, pulling him closer to me. He grinned at me, flashing his eyebrows up and down several times. With a pout, I dropped my hand and sat back on the couch, sulking. He sits down next to me again._

_"You really need to relax." He said, restating his false claim. I lifted up the hand connecting mine to his, glaring at him. "And? As far as I'm concerned, I don't mind."_

_"Yeah, but I do!" I told him, wanting to wail on him for doing something so stupid. Then I remembered—I always kept a key on me! I could just use it and get free and force his other hand into it. I started reaching around in my shirt for it. I knew it was in here somewhere but I just couldn't…_

_I suddenly realize it's too quiet and I looked over, seeing him give me this sideways look. My eyes darted around the room before settling on him, "What did you do now?"_

_"Me? Nothing, I was just wondering—are you looking for a key?"_

_"Yes!"_

_He pulled it out, and I swear I nearly dropped dead, "Does it look like this?"_

_"Yes, and how did you get that?!" I asked, blushing furiously, "It was in my shirt with my hand cuffs! Did you reach in when I wasn't looking?"_

_"No, it fell out when I landed on you. You should really have pockets, you know. Say bye!" And he reached down, poking the key through the grating of my air vents. I heard the clang as it fell in. I let go the breath I was holding, "SLY—!"_

_"Ah- ah- ah-take a deep breath and calm down."_

_ Oh, how I wanted to kill. But I wasn't done yet. The Spare._

_ "…you better hope I have my spare on me."_

_"Spare?" Sly asked, and then he held it up. "This one?"_

* * *

**"I'll never understand how you do that, by the way."**

**"And you never will, Inspector."**

* * *

_I almost fell through the floor, "H-how-what-GIVE THAT TO ME!" I lunged for it, but he pulled back and stood up, stretching his arm up as high as he could. I jumped for it, but I couldn't get to it, he was just tall enough than me to keep it out of my reach. Frustrated, I punched him in the chest, "Give that to me!"  
_

_"No, no, no," He grinned, apparently unfazed, "I can't do that just yet, Inspector."_

_I shoved him backwards, which really only screwed me over too. As he stumbled back, I fell with him shrieking and when he caught himself, I kept going and knocked him down again._

_ As I used his body as a cushion to soften my fall, I heard the key hit the floor and saw it sliding away. I started reaching for it, but he brushed his finger down my side. _

_I ugh, squealed when I felt it-I'll admit I was highly ticklish-and that allowed him to grab it before me. _

_"Damn you!" I said, but the effect was ruined by me laughing as I said. Making another violent attempt to grab it, I grabbed his hat and forced it over his eyes._

_"Hey, that's cheating!" He whined, now working double time as he tried keeping the key from me._

_"Hey, I don't care!" Forcibly grabbing again—but he'd already picked it up, clamping it in his hand. _

_Suddenly faster than I can follow he opened his mouth and pitched the key inside. I froze my eyes wide. "Sly, don't you dare…"_

_He only grinned at me, "Promise me you'll relax the rest of the night?"_

_"I can't relax with you attached to me!" I hollered._

_"Mmhm… I'll take that as a no," He said, punctualizing his statement as he swallowed it, "Because I'll have to make you relax."_

_I clenched my hand, about to choke the living daylights out of him. "You do realize that was the only key I had, right?! RIGHT?! The headquarters are locked!" _

_Sly formed an 'o' with his lips. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize. Looks like we'll be together for the rest of the night, huh?"_

_I tilted my head up. "NNOOOOOOOOO!"_

* * *

**"Well, did it work? Did I get you to relax then?"**

**"The heck do you think, huh?"**

* * *

_"Hey, do you have any cookies?"_

_I lifted my head up slowly, turning it to him. "What?"_

_"Cookies. You know, I can't be Santa Clause if I don't eat any cookies, right? It wouldn't be complete!"_

_I groaned. This was ridiculous. A bit. _

_I glanced at the clock, disbelieving that it had only been five minutes when he decided to chain us together. I sighed. Might as well not fight it, then. We would be in here for awhile. I purse my lips at him, getting ready to get up and he grinned and followed. _

_I felt a lot of slack between the cuffs as we went into my kitchen. I glanced behind, almost not seeing him at first because he was literally glued to my back. _

_"Hey, some space!" I told him as he nearly crashed into me as I stopped to dig around my cabinet. As I rummaged around I could feel him breathing down my neck. "Cooper!"_

_"What?" He asked, sounding dazed. I frowned a bit as I glanced behind again; he was staring at the cabinet so hard his eyes looked like they were going to pop out. And not to mention his mouth was in a oval shape, growing wider and wider. It was pretty funny and before I knew it I was laughing. _

_"What's up with the fish face?" I laughed, pausing for a moment. _

_"Your cookies taste like heaven." He told me._

_That stirred my mind, and I remembered something from a while back._

_I cut myself off laughing, squinting at him. "Have you broken into my house just to get my cookies?"_

_"Maybe once or twice. I always had a Cookie Stealin' Plan for you."_

_I gasped. "So that's how I kept finding my cookie jar empty! You broke in! I thpught that was rats sneaking in!"_

_"Nope, only a raccoon."_

_"Well, here you go!" I shoved the jar into his chest and took the lid off. His face dropped instantly and I collapsed in laughter, pulling him down on top of me. "Gotcha!"_

_"Whu—but—" He inverts the jar, shaking it, but nothing comes out. He stuck his eye in the hole, and I pictured it scanning the inside of it. "Where—"_

_"I never made a new batch after you took the rest over Thanksgiving! So there!"_

_"Can you make some more?"_

_"Please! Are you serious?"_

_"C'mon!"_

_I sat up halfway, dimly aware that he was lying perpendicular on top of my body. I twisted and propped myself up on my left hand, looking at him sarcastically._

_"You bust a hole in my roof—"_

_"That's the landlord's fault—"_

_"Nearly crush me to death—"_

_"I'm only 125—"_

_"CHAIN us together—"_

_"To match our hearts—"_

_"And you expect me to make you cookies? Are you insane?"_

_He tilted his head to the side. "You want my professional opinion?"_

_"Oh, you—get up!" I wait for him to get off me then I carefully stand up. I looked away, annoyed, and his voice got really close, near my ear._

_"Come oonnnn, Miss Clause." _

_I ran my hand through my hair, trying to hide the red tint in my cheeks. _

_Stupid cosplay._

_I didn't know how long I could take this. This was wonderful._

_Okay fine whatever. It wouldn't hurt just this one time. I mean it was Christmas. Holiday spirit, you know._

_"But any other time I'd wring your neck." I muttered, subconsciously turning towards the kitchen. _

_"Uh, that's a yes?" He asked, following close behind._

_"You have to help me. I'm not cooking these by myself."_

* * *

**"You know you're a lousy cook."**

**"I only burnt the dough like, what? Five times?"**

**"Five times too many, that's for sure."**

**"And that's why you shoved me away from the stove!"**

* * *

1 hour later...

_"Are you happy now?"_

_"No." He told me, blowing crumbs in my direction. Irritable, I brushed them off then narrowed my eyes at him. _

_"And why not?"_

_"I can't enjoy myself fully when you're upset."_

_"I'm not upset." I countered._

_He just gives me this really sarcastic look._

_"Alright, I am!" I snapped. "Because you're a KNUCKLEHEAD!"_

* * *

New Year's Day

"Wasn't Christmas wonderful? We spent the entire night chained together."

"Wonderful is maybe an exaggeration. Lucky for you I managed to fish that key out of the duct."

"Did you like your gift?"

"The one you snuck under my tree?" I held up my finger, showing him the ring he'd given to me with my birth month's birthstone on it. "It's going to raise questions at work for sure."

"Just make sure no one looks on the inside of the band."

"Whatever do you mean by that?" I took it off, then held it up, spying the symbol underside the ring, on the bezel. There was his insignia, clearly engraved on it. I blinked, then looked at his smirking face through the band of the ring before I lowered it. "That's taking a big chance for the both of us, ringtail."

"That's a chance I'm willing to take. But, I just wanna say this again- those were some good cookies."

"You know what else would be good?" I hinted, feeling energetic.

"Yeah. If you'd used bigger chocolate chips in them."

I sighed, getting annoyed. He was toying with me again. And I was getting antsier by the second. I drew back, narrowing my eyes at him. "Do you have time?!"

"Do you have the energy?"

"What a question, what a question…and here I thought you knew me better."

He faked a pouty face. "Sorry. I guess this means we need more together time. You want me to steal what I already took before from you?"

"That's more like it. Oh and by the way, when New Years is over, you're under arrest."

"You promised no talk about work!"

"And you promised no talk about stealing!"

"You let me steal it, though. Sorry, not my fault."

"It's not stealing if I _let_ you take it. Don't get it twisted."

"Well, you know all the guys after you, right?"

I snorted. "All the guys at office? Hell yes. God knows Winthrop has sexual fantasies about me behind my back."

"Well, they'd probably think that I stole you from them."

I stopped caressing his back and looked at him in the eye. "You know I'm not a_ thing_, right? I don't and _won't_ let people claim that I'm such. That's by comparing me to a valuable one can actually _steal_."

"Of course I know _that_—but I'm speaking from _their_ point of view. Don't get me wrong," He lowered his voice, narrowing his eyes. "Sometimes when I follow you around when you're on duty, I hear the things some of them say about you. Like—like you're just another_ thing_ for them to have." He frowned, looking upset. "It's really bothersome to me, so I know it must get under your skin."

"That's been happening for years." I told him, "And I got accustomed to it. It's no coincidence the perverts in the squad are the ones that don't have a long-lived career with Interpol. It's always those two or three squad members who leave, replaced by others to fill the exact same role of being utterly useless and incompetent." I groaned, "And here people think that police officers are respectable and dignified. It's not all that jazz when you're actually_ working_ with them."

"_You're_ respectable and dignified."

"And _you're_ honorable and chivalrous," I raised my eyebrow at him, "So I guess we're even with the verbals," I shifted so that I was centered on top of him, "For now."

He squinted at me mischievously, getting the hint. I guess he wasn't going to make his move first.

So in the next second we were making sparks fly.

"Really on fire tonight, eh?" Sly asked between us French kissing. Well, we _were_ in Paris.

"It's...New Years celebration." I murmured to him. "Which reminds me…where's your gang?"

"I already had an outing with the guys," Sly grinned. "Manhattan's a nice place to visit this time of year."

"Manhattan, huh? Why there?"

"It's always Christmas in New York~! Ah, Manhattan!" He chirped loudly. Then he sighed and leaned back, "Ah've always wanted ta go to dat crazy place! Them New Yorkers are quite da sight!"

I widened my eyes at him, horrified, "What's that, some mixture between a Southern accent and—and—_ewugh_, don't ever do that again."

"Ya don't like it? I'm good at accents, dontcha know?"

"Please, for the sake of my sanity—and that's a WISCONSIN accent!"

"So, what's up with you?" Sly asked, thankfully dropping his crappy accents, " Have any relatives coming over?"

"No, they're still snowed in."

You cook anything?"

"Brunch with Interpol already…."

"Expecting anyone else?"

"Besides you? No."

"Oh, how sweet," He smiles at me cajolingly, "You WERE expecting me to drop by. "

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, it's not like you do this every year or anything…"

"Oh, I almost forgot—" He reaches underneath the couch and pulls out a bottle of champagne. I goggled at it, then shook my head.

"Y'know ordinarily I would've asked when you had the time to put that there, or how without me seeing you. But I've gotten the idea that asking you questions is an avenue for more confusion for me and amusement from you."

"Wait and see, Inspector. You'll be back to asking questions when you're on duty."

I rolled my eyes because that was totally true. It was in my nature to ask questions, and given my profession it was inevitable. I glared at him suddenly, "Especially with_ you_."

He smiles, looking puzzled as his eyes dart from left to right. "Did I miss something?"

"Yeah, you did. It's getting cold in here. So let me just…_.turn the heat up_."

I saw his eyes light up before he made a pouty face, "But I wanted to have a drink first…"

"The drink can wait for several more minutes," I told him, beginning to trace a path with my finger down his chest. Sly shuddered slightly, exhaling with excited shakiness and I heard the clink as the bottle landed on the carpeted floor. I felt him relax a hand on my backside, and that's when I noticed his ear twitch.

_Snap._

Milliseconds before the sound pierced the air our heads had whipped towards it-just in time to hear a squeal and the front door close. In a move that would have impressed any gymnast I practically somersaulted off the couch, with Sly close behind me. I threw the door open just in time to see a purple figure running away.

I snarled to myself, wordlessly jumping off the balcony and landing onto the ground fifteen feet below. About ten yards ahead of me I saw Winthorp turn, then shriek as he spotted me. Growling, I pounded after him as fast as I could, intent on ripping him to bits.

I didn't hear Sly behind me and glanced back for a second; he wasn't there. I was a bit disappointed and angry, but maybe if he got away it wouldn't add to suspicion. I gritted my teeth as I realized that punk otter must've gotten a picture of us. Oh HELL, I had to catch him.

And so the distance between us closed as I chased him down the streets. Pedestrians had to doge out the way as we carved a way through the crowd. I nearly stumbled, then I furiously yell, "Wait 'till I get my hands on you!"

"I'I'm sorry but this is for your own g-good, Inspector!" He called. My eyes caught sight of the camera in his hand, now that I was tailing him at a close ten feet. I knew we were close to headquarters—

-shit! He took a sudden turn into an alley way. I followed in after him, cursing my luck. I suddenly felt a surge of anger, bellowing back my answer.

"How's EXPOSING me supposed to be good for me? Huh? You trying to get me thrown in jail? Lose my job?!" I screamed after him, nearly breathless. I was beginning to get nervous the closer we got. "I thought you liked me! You're my Executive Assistant! Why would you do this?!"

"I do like you, Inspector, that's why! So you can be away from bad influences like…like him!"

"Bite me!" I hollered, insanely furious at that point, "You can't tell me who's good for me or not! That's not your job!"

I heard him huffing and puffing ahead of me, but I was equally as tired and felt my stamina slipping. Suddenly something drops down right in front of Winthrop, and he crashed into it, yelping. I came up fast, screeching to a halt, breathing hard as I stared down at my assistant.

"Thanks, Cooper. I was wondering where you'd gone."

"Not a problem," Sly replied, before looking down with a lowered brow, "Never would've thought _you'd_ be the one to rat us out."

Winthorp said nothing, too busy shaking into jello by now. I sighed, then knelt down and lowered my hand. He looked at it, then looked frightened. "Give it to me, Winthorp,' I said in a stern but hopefully more calmer tone.

"S-So it's t-true then." He muttered, shaking, "Y-you're dating…him."

Sly and I glanced up at each other, wordlessly expressing the expressions, 'we've been caught red handed/we're royally fucked' between us.

"I-I was there the entire time! I h-heard you guys…what happened during Christmas…"

"You were listening the entire time?!" I snarled, now not knowing who I should be more pissed at. Winthorp for spying or us or goddamned_ Sly_ for not locking the door like I told him to.I looked up at him, and he must've known it was coming because he backed away, grinning but looking terrified. I folded my arms, taping my foot on the ground. Sly shrugged, now looking embarrassed. "Um, I forgot?"

I gave him a look that told him I would execute him later, then turned my attention down at Winthorp. "So how much did you get?"

"I-I only got that picture…" He said, holding the camera up, and I take it from him. I motioned up with my other finger.

"On your feet, executive."

He stood up shakily, still cowering from both of our stares. I came up to him, lowering myself down slightly to his level.

"Now you listen here. You will tell NO ONE what you saw today. Absolutely not a soul. If I find out you did, I skin you alive with my own bare hands. And even if you do—I have the proof, ready to be destroyed."

I heard Sly make a disappointed noise, but I continued on, "And don't mention what you saw today to me. Don't ask me questions; don't imply that I have any form of lover at all. Keep it all to yourself."

He glanced down at the ring Sly had given me, and looks like he's about to cry. I sighed, feeling a bit like a butthead.

"Y-you two are…"

I gritted my teeth in my mouth. I was hoping he wouldn't probe deeper. I folded my arms, straightening up and looking off to the side. "Listen, you might not want to finish that question. I don't….I don't want you to be upset."

"A bit too late for that." I heard Sly mutter, and I shot him a glare and he shuts up.

"But that's…that's impossible!" Winthrop cried suddenly, "I thought you—HATED him! It doesn't make sense for him to be your lover and you hate him!"

Something in me snapped and I turned to him, fire in my eyes. Both he and Sly stepped back a bit, eyes widened.

"I. Think. I. Know. That." I growled through clenched teeth. He'd hit me below the belt with that. Like I didn't know it was my main conflict with the thief in the first place.

He must've been feeling brave today because he went on, "And I thought that…he'd lost his memory. What happened to make you two split up then?" I wasn't the one to answer that time, though.

"That's none of your business." His voice was pitched lower, which told me Winthrop pushed Sly's buttons as well. The raccoon came up closer behind my assistant, then kneeled down and whispered something in his ear.

Whatever it was caused the otter to run out of the alleyway shrieking. I turned to Sly curiously; making people run off in terror was usually my schtick, not his. "What did you say to him?"

"I said that if he asked anymore questions about or relationship I'd stick my cane so far up his ass he wouldn't be able to go lower than a Soprano for the rest of his life."

"Wow," I groaned. "Way to go, champ. The guy's already scared of his own shadow. He probably won't leave his house for a week now."

"He brought himself into this, you know."

"You know he's scared of you, right?"

Sly looked surprised. "Of me? Why, I barely talked to the guy. Besides the rare times you weren't after me and he took your place," He leaned onto his cane, looking up at the sky with a smile on his face, "I remember that time you were sick and I bumped into him in Venice. I got a bit upset with him because he sedated me while I was eating at a restaurant with the BEST pasta in the world. Before I passed out I told him I would take his life since he took my pasta from me."

I listened with a half open mouth, wondering what the hell went on behind my back. I made a mental note to not get sick again. Didn't need any more frights to my assistant. Or to my sanity.

"I wasn't talking about the fear you put in him Sly. I taking about in terms of_ intimidation._"

Sly looked at me with this_ hilariously_ blank face, so I chuckled, continuing, "Listen, you're so much stronger, athletic, charming, than he is…"

"Say, thanks."

"…and he knows that too. Every time I was on duty, he'd just hear me talk nonstop about you. I guess to a guy that translates to me liking whomever I talk about…"

Sly blinked, his mouth opening slightly as he leaned forward a bit.

"…and that's no exaggeration. So imagine when you apparently lost your memory and you were with me that time. That entire year he was more down in the dumps than I ever saw him. I felt bad, but…I'm just not for him…"

"And I guess when I went back to thieving he _thought_ he had another chance with you." Sly said hollowly.

"It makes me feel bad to have him see us together after so much, but…" I paused, remembering another conflict. I suddenly pushed Sly backwards, cornering him on the back wall. "That's right! I need to speak with you about the matter of locking my door!"

"Well you see, I truthfully forgot!"

"You were right there at the door! What were you doing that made you forget?"

"Putting my pants on."

"You're_ full_ of it!" I yelled at him, getting ready to slug him when I realized that my hands were empty of a certain device. I looked up to see him grinning at me. "Where is it?"

"Where's what?"

"The. Camera."

"You must've misplaced it in your shirt. Want me to get it for you?"

"I'm going to rip you in half, raccoon," I told him calmly, raising up my clenched hands.

"I live to hear things like that from you," He said, right before reaching with one hand, swinging himself onto the wall by a pipe, "And I'm taking back my champagne. Save it for another time."

"What, you're leaving already?"

"Well, yeah. I've been away from the guys for almost half a day. I miss my pals," He gave me a coy look, "Not to mention I've got a picture to develop."

"I knew it!" I said, getting angry.

There was a pause as we stared at each other.

Then like a switch flipping, the cops and robbers role resumed between us.

"GET BACK HERE, THIEF!" I bellowed, pulling out my trademark weapon.

By that time he'd thrown me a kiss and was already over the top of the building. I gave a loud, frustrated groan, a staple in almost every single one of my pursuits. It was kind of a norm now.

At that point I decided to let him go, out of the goodness of my heart. But the next day I would find him and light him up like a Christmas tree.

* * *

"What's….oh, you _got_ to be kidding me…"

I lifted up the square piece of plastic. I'd found it when I had gotten home, literally thirty minutes later. It was the picture Winthrop must've snapped of us.

In the picture, as I remember, I was on top of Sly and he had his arms around me. The bottle of champagne was on the ground next to the couch, lying on its side. I noticed that the both of us were both looking directly at the camera, both of our eyes wide with shock.

_Half a second later, we'd been off the couch fast as lightning_, I thought wryly. My eyes traveled down to the bottom of the picture, seeing Sly's signature and a small note:

_Hey, Carm. It's been nice spending time with you this holiday. But I'm kind of excited to get back to normal routine. Oh, I decided to leave the champagne with you instead until another occasion._

_PS: Look behind you._

Raisin my eyebrow I turned around, shocked when I discovered the bottle of wine hanging from a rope coming from the ceiling with one of Sly's calling cards was attached to it.

I couldn't help but to smile.

* * *

_**I hope everybody had a good holiday! Cometstryke signing off! **_


End file.
